In the wake of this Kendrick vs. Drake beef (don’t worry this will not be a think piece analyzing lyrics and saying stuff like “You didn’t GET it. 6:16 was ACTUALLY the exact duration of Drake’s last BBL procedure”) one thing sticks out in particular:
“Some shit just cringeworthy, it ain’t even gotta be deep I guess.”
As someone who suffers secondhand embarrassment to the point where I will break out in a literal sweat over the smallest things, that line couldn’t be truer.
I have a rather long list of things on my cringe list, here are just a few:
Setting up a camera and pretending to wake up
The monikers Hubby and Wifey
Having to make an unprotected left turn
Romanticized 9-5/work “content”
Misuse of there/their/they’re
Participating in a social media trend, but not doing it right
EX: When people were doing the whole “I’m a _____, of course I ______” trend but were messing up the syntax or just being unfunny in general.
Men
But at the top of that list? Social media couples. And at the tippy top of that list? Those of the le$bian variety (gag).
This #community is notorious for moving very fast and wanting to scream their love from the rooftops. You can follow someone for years and all of a sudden all of the pictures she posts are of her girlfriend. (I’m looking at you Raven Symone) It’s to the point where you don’t even remember who you’re following anymore. Something in the milk ain’t clean and I don’t like it.
“Now let me say I’m the BIGGEST hater”
Nothing makes me roll my eyes and clench my jaws like seeing a couple document everything for “content.” Can’t you just enjoy your pasta and strawberry margaritas at Cheesecake Factory in peace? Do we have to experience it with you in a reel over Beyonce’s II Hands II Heaven? I love love, but BFFR.
Why are you dressed alike?
Are you really qualified to facilitate this Twin Flames and Inner Child Trauma Workshop over Zoom? (Yall will just throw some pseudo science and therapy buzzwords together huh?)
Why is your couple’s page an LLC?
Is this late night trip to Popeyes really worth a collaboration post?
Why are you selling merch??????
Now yall are in real estate?
I guess what I’m trying to say is: if I ever get into a social media relationship please do a wellness check.
