Woman Thou Art Juiced: Celebrating International Women's Day
For International Women’s Day, I usually just post my “Happy International Women’s Day to everyone except the 53% of white women who voted for Donald Trump” photo. Although that is an evergreen post, and I’ll probably still share it, this year I wanted to do more to celebrate the greatest gender of all time.
First of all, being a woman is the most lit thing ever. We are smart, we have beautiful bodies, we smell good, we can give life, and we have soft skin. #blessed
I have actual diary entries obsessing over when I’d get my period or finally have boobs that looked like something. That’s literally 80% of what I wrote about in my pink, white/black checkered “punk” journal I bought in a 6th grade Scholastic Book Fair that I STILL have in my keepsake box today.
ACTUAL DIARY ENTRY FROM 2002 BELOW
Hey,
I’ve got the period that I had wanted on June 7th I think. I’ve had my cycle twice. It’s so boring at home. I just came home from California.
Before you come for my grammar, let me clear this up.
For some odd reason, along with writing big loopy letters that filled up the wide-ruled lines, I made it a point to use poor grammar to seem “cool” to my bird of a best friend at the time. I don’t know what made me think she would ever read my diary, but just in case, here I was attempting to “what had happened was” and birdify my diary entry.
Thank God I found MY voice.
So whatever. I got the period, still waiting on the titties to come in thooooooo
But being a woman isn’t all about being able to make babies and growing out of training bras. A part of being a woman, or at least the kind of womanhood I subscribe to, is knowing what to IGNORE.
Here is a list of things I choose to ignore, that are sure to make your superior gender experience more pleasant and fulfilling:
Ignore any advice that starts out with “as a woman…” and ESPECIALLY if it says “as a women” because you should never take advice from anyone who doesn’t understand the difference between words that are singular vs. plural.
Ignore hotep niggas and the like. This includes men/women who overly use the words “queen” and “king” and swear that the problem with “this generation” is that women don’t want to cook, sew, play therapist, or raise people who aren’t their children.
Ignore people who love to play devil’s advocate or just go against the grain for the sake of being different. These people are like the Young Republicans who exist on liberal campuses and set up shop at the busiest location with wild takes that incite chaos – this example is specific to my college experience — but this also includes people who say things like, “yeaaaaa, but those girls were fast and wanted to be in a relationship with R. Kelly.”
Ignore anyone who doesn’t understand feminism, and especially those who respond to “men are trash” points by screaming, “YOU HATE MEN” and “NOT ALL MEN” with 10x more emotion and commitment than they are willing to give their actual romantic partners. The truth of the matter is: I would never get offended by someone saying “women are trash” because guess what? I’m not trash. A hit dog will always holler though. A Black woman taught me that :)
Happy International Women’s Day from me to you!
