You BETO Believe It Could Be Worse
This past week had all the components to make a grown woman cry, and I did.
In my book club, we just finished reading “The Hate You Give” by Angie Thomas. We saw the movie then discussed the book over coffee. Eighty percent of my aforementioned weeps of the week were from the book or the movie. Maybe next year I’ll write reviews for the books I read. Anyway, rest in peace Khalil.
After the movie, I decided to drive to my hometown and visit my grandma. My grandma has dementia or Alzheimer’s, or is just getting old. To be honest, I’m not really sure, and I’ve heard so many different versions of what’s actually happening that I don’t even want to think about it. For the first time since I was told about her fading memory (that sounds better), I could see a significant change in her ability to keep up with conversations. I remember visiting her a few months ago thinking, “Ok, my dad is over exaggerating as usual.” I mean she lost her train of thought a few times while speaking, and we all kind of laughed it off. I didn’t think much of it because it was just like I’d expect any other older person to sometimes forget things. That wasn’t the case this time though, it was painfully apparent, and it was heartbreaking.
Naturally that made me sad. *Side note* I could write a book about how unbeknownst to anyone, my grandma was my person during one of the darkest, hardest times of my life right after I graduated college. One day.
This week was also election week.
I took advantage of early voting and stood in a line that moved quickly last Friday afternoon. I remember feeling hopeful, recalling all the Beto signs I saw in the yards and on cars during my daily commute to work.
However, yesterday, I started thinking of how my perception is pretty skewed. I live in a progressive neighborhood, and generally travel within the loop of this huge city. I didn’t even think about all the small towns, like the one I grew up in, that probably had Cruz signs in their yards because didn’t I just see a pickup truck in the Kroger parking lot with two HUGE confederate flags attached to the windows? I did. How many honky-tonk towns did I JUST pass through while driving to Austin less than two weeks ago? Those people probably voted for trump (lowercased on purpose) and they will probably vote for Cruz too.
Beto lost last night.
(screaming emoji) BUT IT WASN’T BECAUSE OF BLACK WOMEN. No surprise here.
More shitty news:
My uterus is retaliating against me for not getting this egg fertilized
My therapist had the flu and cancelled my last appointment
My heating pad exploded in the microwave
My Invisalign trays came in and I have to depart with a significant chunk of change when I pick them up tomorrow
I saw something on Twitter that stuck with me.
“If you don’t believe things can get better, you better believe they can get worse.”
I HATE seeing inspirational quotes, smiling faces, and fake deep motivation on my timeline, and I especially hate it when I’m in the middle of a rut. All that positive shit just makes me roll my eyes until I get a headache. I don’t consider myself negative or morbid, but knowing that things could be worse is a lot easier for me than thinking they can get better.
As shitty as this week has been, it could be worse. I could be a part of the 59% of white women who voted for the zodiac killer.
